What not to say to a woman that’s having a Hysterectomy

Life has it’s way of showing us that we have no control. Sometimes we think we are are prepared for things and when the time comes you realize maybe I wasn’t as prepared as I thought.

I’ve been struggling for years with horrible menstrual pain. 3 weeks out of a month was torture from painful ovulation,dizziness,bloating, anemia, you name it I suffered it.

I lived with a heating pad on my stomach. Gulped down ibuprofen like candy trying to ease the pain. Midol extra strength was a joke. The medication took the edge off but generally, nothing worked. Except a special tea that I would make but it would only last maybe 15 minutes and trust me that was the BEST 15 minutes of my life!!

I knew the time was going to come where the big “H” word was going to haunt me. I just didn’t expect it at 37. In my mind I had a dream, get married again to the man that I extremely love and have at least one (maybe 2) beautiful babies, then they can toss my uterus out to a group of starving mangy mutts for all I care!

I’m not trying to be insensitive to others because there are some women that have had to make this decision at even a earlier age. No matter how old you are it still might be emotionally painful for that person. Here are some of the things that were said to me in some form that actually bothered me. I truly hope this will helped friends and families with what to do if you have a loved one or friend facing this procedure.

Things people shouldn’t say when trying to support someone going through this procedure:

1. At least you were able to have kids

Yes, I was fortunate to have children but some huge part of me still hurts. I wanted to give birth to one more child but it’s just not in the cards for me anymore and it breaks my heart a little.

2. You’re going to feel so much better afterwards

Will I, of course I will, “physically” but mentally, Will I feel better?

3. Awe that means no more babies.

Thank you for the reminder I kinda know that! Geez get a grip people!!

4. You should have taken care of it a long time ago.

I’m sure that you’re right but I had hope that maybe I would miraculously be healed or maybe just one more baby then I’ll be done. I was wrong. Don’t keep reminding me because I’m doing something about it now.

5. Why are you being so dramatic?

Surgery is scary! My future is being rained on with a storm I can’t compete with. It seems like when all starts going well, something crazy always happens. It’s hard to deal with, so drama it is!

6. How do you feel about it?

If I had a dollar for how may times I’ve been asked this week, I’d be $100 richer. I’m scared, deep down I know it’s for the best but I still don’t want to do it I HAVE to do it.

7. Man, that sucks!

Yeah tell me about it! My sentiments exactly!

8. Omg! What are you going to do?!

Have surgery, duh!! The other options had to many risks and honestly I’ve gone through enough.

9. Are you going to be ok?

I’ll live, just gotta take some time to think and remind myself that I will be ok eventually.

10. Girl, I bet you’re happy to get that thing taken out.

Just because I have the fab 5 doesn’t mean I didn’t want more. I know in this day and time a large family isn’t the most celebrated situation but I love being a mom, bearing children and watching them develop into great kids and young adults. Now I’ll just be spoiling the mess out of grand babies when that time comes. I just need to wrap my thoughts around that and try to stay positive.

I know that everything I wrote probably sounds petty but to me it’s not. The best advice I can give is just be patient and let women who are facing this or have faced this have time to be emotional, Let them express their feelings without your opinion, and most of all know that it’s ok if you don’t understand what they are going through just try your best to be a listening ear or a warm hug if she needs it.

I am thankful for the love and support I have thus far but I’m sure after I conquer this surgery I’ll need a lot more and that’s OK! Just keep me in your prayers.

Thank you for reading!

Drury Plaza Hotel Broadview: Best Hotel for Families!

Drury Plaza Hotel Broadview in Wichita, KS

Our family recently took a nice little weekend trip to Wichita, KS to support my daughter Maddison for her step Competition. You’ve probably heard me mention in my bio and previous blogs, that I have 5 Children (4 still live at home). My two youngest are boys, anyone who has boys know there is a HUGE amount of energy that they need to release on a daily. So, when I planned our trip, space was the first thing that came to mind especially for the 4 year old.

When I walked into our room I was very impressed. We had a Sofa bed, a desk, a chair to kick your feet up and relax (as you can see my 9 year old wasted no time hopping into the chair.) They had two queen size beds that were VERY comfy. I can’t tell you how many hotels have beds that leave you needing a full body massage once you get home. I meant to get a photo of the bathroom. It was so convenient to have dispensers of soap, shampoo and conditioner! not the tiny little bottles that you would empty out with the first wash in the shower. It came in handy to as my son said that my soap smelled to “flowery” so he refused to use it. I honestly think he thought the dispensers were cool because he has used my soap plenty of times.

I absolutely loved how spacious it was inside of our suite. The boys had plenty of room to run around. The room was well insulated well. It didn’t sound like a stampede when my son was dancing to SpongeBob SquarePants, trust me that was much appreciated for me and i’m sure the neighbors too.

We also had a mini fridge and microwave that came in handy for the extra snacks that I brought with us.

The next awesome thing about this hotel is, every evening they have this reception called the kickback. As you can see above my son is munching down on his SECOND hot dog! They had hot dogs, salad, pasta, tacos, chili, etc. They give each adult a ticket to get 3 alcoholic beverages of your choice per night (FREE) Then of course they have a selection of soft drinks to choose from if you don’t like alcohol.

At this location they have fresh popped popcorn and soft drinks until 9:00 pm. The kids ate dinner, grabbed some popcorn, went back to our room to watch a movie on the “free” cable, they actually had a great selection of cable channels.

In the morning they offered free breakfast. I chose to only take a picture of one of the kids plates because he LOVES pancakes! How many hotels have you been to where they are cooking fresh pancakes on the grill in the mornings? Not many right? So this made a large statement for me because pancakes are awesome! especially when I don’t have to cook them. The hot breakfast consisted of: pancakes, waffles, sausage, oatmeal, scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy, etc. It was really nice.

The indoor swimming pool was great because it was kind of cool outside (my kids always want to go to the pool no matter what season it is outside). There is an outdoor pool option as well. I spent my time soaking my body in the hot tub while the kids took a dip in the pool. Overall it was a win for us.

I paid $160 per night. Considering all of the amenities that we had with free breakfast and dinner every day helped to save money in the long run and I am all about that. The Hotel staff was amazing and so accommodating. We felt welcome and at home no matter what reason you traveled for, there was a sense of unity within the walls of this wonderful hotel. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that if you take a trip to Wichita, KS book your stay at this fabulous hotel. You won’t be disappointed.

Drury Hotel Broadview, Wichita Kansas 400 W. Douglas Avenue Wichita, KS 67202

How to Get dust off your Flower Arrangements or Plants in under 2 minutes

Ever look at your plants of flowers and sit there and actually try to clean them leaf by leaf or petal by petal? I have! It is the most time consuming task to complete when there’s a list of a ton of other things that I could be completing.

My Mother has this hack that she used to get all the plants in her house looking brand new again. So she decided to try and use them on flowers.

So just to test just how good it is she decided to pull out some faux flowers that she had out of the garage. I’m sure they had years of dust on them but that’s the whole point of this post, to see if she could revive her flowers like she did the plants.

Here is the “Before” picture of the flowers arrangement.

As you can see it’s covered in dust! It looks like all the color is faded off each flower and probably needing a visit to the old garbage can.

Then my Mom pulled out a simple product that almost everyone either has in their house or better yet you can buy it at the Dollar store.

Hairspray!! I had no idea that this could be used for more than “just hair”.

My Mom sprayed her plant and in what would have taken me 30min to an hour per plant to wipe down each petal and still not get the same results. This took probably 2 minutes to revive her flowers.

Here is the after picture of her flowers…

Look how gorgeous this plant turned out! The hairspray brought it back to life and then some in my opinion! It looks real and it’s so pretty.

So if you are doing some spring cleaning or have some crusty looking faux plants around your house get out some hairspray and tackle that tiny little monster! By using this outstanding housekeeping tip.

If you take time to try this, I’d love to know your results. Please leave a comment below!

10 Reasons I love Walmart’s Grocery Pick up

Snapped a picture of the pickup spot I was in after I backed out.

Life is busy, VERY busy. I have 5 children, four of them live in my house. My oldest is already on her own and doing well. I’m sure that you could imagine a day in my crazy life, on top of that, I work full time.

For years I would dread going to the grocery store. The long lines, the angry customers and taking my kids to the store with me, IS THE WORST EXPERIENCE EVER!! I realized that no matter how old they get, taking them to the store is still a nightmare, it just gets more expensive as they get older.

I thought that a little bit of heaven fell on earth when Walmart came implemented the grocery pick up. The first time I experienced it I had to drive 15 miles to get to a location that had the pick up option. Now that my neighborhood had a pick up at the local Walmart I can drive 4 miles and get there in about 5 minutes and it has been heaven.

10 Reasons to shop the Grocery Pickup

  1. Its convenient you go online and you pick out the groceries that you want. If there is something that they ran out of they will find the equivalent price or lesser value if you aren’t big about brands.
  2. Better selection of Food their shoppers have a good eye and professionally trained, It seems like they pick out better fruit and meat when I use to pickup. I never got anything that looked bad or any fruit that is bruised. Each time I’ve been impressed.
  3. You save money you can watch the total increase or decrease as you shop. No more carrying around the calculator or trying to add everything up in my head. I can’t tell you how often that ended up in a bust for me. So this helps me to stay within my grocery budget.
  4. Forces me to meal plan Its easier to have an idea of what you want to buy, If you try to shop blindly then it can be stressful. I notice that if I have idea of meals I want to through the week it makes the online experience a breeze because you know what items you need and what to look for.
  5. No more long lines Nothing sucks more than to go into the grocery store its super packed, and they don’t have enough staff to help with check out. Drives me nuts! especially when you have other things that you need to get done and all you see is an hour delay.
  6. Eliminates the “I want” Syndrome Every time I take one of my kids with me they always want me to buy them something. It never fails. It doesn’t matter how old they are the youngest wants candy, the older ones want junk or toys and the oldest wants either hair supplies or makeup. Its refreshing to NOT have to deal with that.
  7. You don’t have to leave the kids at home I always want to leave the kids at home, as I mention before its a nightmare. Now they can ride with me because no one has to get out of the car, YAY!!
  8. They load the car for you I don’t have to put my groceries in the car because they do it for me. Sounds selfish of me but if its cold outside, I’d rather not. I try to avoid shopping on days that it rains because I wouldn’t want them loading up my car in it but that’s just me.
  9. Keeps me from buying stuff I don’t need when I go to the Walmart supercenter sometimes I can’t resist a good clearance rack. I know, I know, I know! my problem might not be your problem, but it does feel good to not be enticed by all the cute sale items and just get what you need and get out! I can’t tell you how often in the past a milk visit cost me $40!!! That’s some expensive milk right?! but it happens we go in to get one item and come out with 10.
  10. It’s not time consuming you can log on through the week on the computer or your cell phone and add to your list as you need things. Then once you finish your order all you have to do is submit it. When you get to Walmart it only takes about 5-10 minutes to get your order to your car and loaded.

Walmart grocery pick up is free to pick up. There is no packaging or shopping fee for your groceries. If you haven’t given it a try then I say you should! Click here to get $10 off your first order and just do a little test run. Its so simple! all you have to do is set up your account, place your order, choose your designated pick up time, then once its ready you let them know which number your parked in and they will bring your groceries to your car and load it up for you! Its the most fabulous thing in the world. Enjoy your shopping. Leave a comment and tell me about your experience!

5 ways to Balance Impossible Standards

I saw this clip on one of my friends Facebook pages and it really is a very true statement.

Why is it like this? It seems like the world sets the bar so high for Mother’s and sadly when I was married my Husband was the same way! It was like pulling teeth if I needed help with the kids or wanted time for myself. It’s crazy!

I work a full time job and I’ll tell you what, as a single parent, 5 out of 7 days a week I just want to crawl into my bed and pass out. Life would be grand if I had a personal chef, chauffeur and a housekeeper! Unfortunately that only exists in a perfect world.

Do I feel as though I am being measured constantly? ABSOLUTELY! life is a balancing act for me with 4 kids at home still and anxiety from one being a young adult on her own already and doing pretty good. It’s scary trying to maintain it all.

How do I maintain with all these kids & work?

It’s definitely not easy. I’m pretty sure that’s why when God created the earth he made a family and not a single parent. Good thing is he loves us dearly and even when the widow woman (HELLO, single Mom in the Bible) was down to her last meal with her son God showed up, she was wise enough to recognize his presence and God provided for her, from that point she never wanted for anything again.

5 Ways to Balance Impossible Standards

  1. Pray! Even in all my imperfections and stubbornness at times, I’ve learned that giving God control offers much more peace then when I’m trying to do everything my own way.
  2. Organize your day have your work day planned out as best you can. I usually already know what I need to do before my day starts and I try not to get off task so that I can get off on time. I organize everything by priority. That’s why it’s good to know what is important first and go from there. Doing this lowers anxiety.
  3. Say NO! You can’t be everywhere and you can’t do everything. There are times when we have to stretch ourselves thin buts it’s not all the time. You don’t have to accept every invitation that you or your kids receive.
  4. Don’t overwhelm your schedule It doesn’t make you a better parent if you have your kids in a thousand sports or activities. It’s not cute to be so busy, personally makes me sick when I hear moms especially competing with each other on how many freaking tasks you have a week! Girl PLEASE, chill out! your looking 10 years older than what you are because your exhausted! Caking on makeup to hide your dark circles and taking time away when from your to relax. Plus, What do you have to prove to people who don’t pay your bills anyway? Nothing! So limit them to one sport a season or one activity per child. The world will be ok and so will you!!
  5. If you are married HELP EACH OTHER!!! Don’t be selfish, if you’re both working assist each other with the kids, tasks around the house, etc. it really does take two. For single parents: we don’t have this luxury right now but If you have some amazing parents like I do, that helps me out a lot! If you don’t have parents that can help you, link up and befriend another single parent and try to help each other when you can, it works. For the hitched folks: supporting each other when you are married will always keep you mended. As long as you Keep each other aware of what’s going on and communicate with each other.

Life is challenging, 50% of the issue comes from our lack of planning and overdoing it just to look good. Know your boundaries don’t be afraid to stand firm on your decisions. Don’t allow people or yourself to put you in an early grave. It isn’t worth it. Set your limitations, enjoy your family and live as stress free as possible.

FabFitFun Product Review: My Wash & Go Routine for Natural Hair

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2 of the products I used are from my FabFitFun Box. I love the full size product samples you get because it gives you a chance to really try the products you get.

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OUAI Leave in Conditioner (FabFitFun Box)

Eco style Black Castor Oil and Flaxseed gel

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Moroccan Gold Series Treatment Mask (FabFitFun Box)

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Not once but TWICE!!

A friend sent me this little quote, I’m not sure who it’s by but it made me laugh in this particular case.

At the time this story definitely wasn’t funny. As a mom it’s not often that you get a chance to do something that is all about you kid free. It was finally the weekend for our book club, I was so excited because it was my turn to host at my home. Earlier in the week my son (the 4 yr old) stayed up really late. Mind you I had to work in the morning yet my child went to bed 3 nights in a row around 3:00am. Each of those nights I stayed up with him or if so dozed off I would quickly wake up. I had a busy physical day at work on Friday night. By the time I got home after being up and only getting 3-4 hours of sleep I was ready to crash. My poor body couldn’t take anymore. So guess what? I fell asleep!

Then I wake up to a little boy saying “Mommy there’s a fire in the kitchen!” It’s around 12:15 AM. I leaped up out of bed and miraculously found the energy to run and open all the doors and garage to let the smoke out that infused my home. I even found the strength to lift my 8 year old son and carry him to the bedroom he had fallen asleep on the couch. I took batteries out of every blaring alarm ( Don’t worry I replaced them the next day) and then I went to open the microwave. I was terrified.

This was a corn dog

As you can see in the photo above above he burnt a corn dog to an ultimate crisp. My house was FULL of smoke. I was just beside myself and filled with guilt. Now I had to try to get the smell of burnt corn dog out of my house!

How Did I get the smell out?…

After some research I came up with a little concoction of my own and it worked.

  • 1 tsp. Of Vanilla Extract
  • 1/4 c. Of Vinegar
  • 1/4 c. Of Lemon Juice
  • 3-4 c. Of Water
  • 2 Cinnamon Sticks
  • Small Sauce Pan

Although I didn’t really measure this was a rough estimate of what I used. Add all of the ingredients in the pot and boil on high and then let it simmer until the water is almost evaporated. Something absorbs the smell. Whatever it was, it worked. Then of course I cleaned my microwave out with lavender fabuloso. That helped quite a bit but not that great (Just being honest).

I felt relieved when I finally got the smell out of my house because I was just about time before our book club meeting. I needed to run to the store so I had my Daughter keep an eye on Josiah while I ran to the store to pick up a few things before the party. Lo & behold he burns ANOTHER corn dog. How does this happen TWICE in one day and why an hour before book club?

I was now mortified but I immediately pulled out all my ingredients AGAIN and started another pot. The smell was put out within the hour. It was a crazy day! I wanted to share this post back when this happened on February 25th Then I thought, you never know who might have a “mom fail” like I did and need to get the smell of burnt corn dog or burnt anything inside of your home out of your house. So decided to share my story and hopefully help anyone else who ends up having this disaster. I now unplug my microwave every single night, thanks to Mr. Busy Body!! I look back now and I laugh but at the time it was a little scary. One thing I have to accept it life happens no mom is perfect. I know I’m not and HEY your might fall asleep and wake up to God knows what! Have any of you ever experienced something crazy that your kids may have done that made you curl up and hide in a dark corner on the inside? Share your story with me in the comments!